Nailed It!

It feels good.  I don't want to brag.  I don't want to boast, I want to be humble.  Dang that L___, one of my administrators and mentor, I suppose.  She's already pushing me to be better.  I like that and I hate that but I do appreciate it.  Today I was observed again by my principal, the vice-principal, my faculty head and L___.  When I was informed a few weeks ago that the "event" was going to occur, I began to fret. I counted my blessings that it was a few weeks away, but I worried. 

If you've read my blog called "Ground Rules,"  you will know that my last observation was a disaster.  I think it may have scarred me for life.  I'm no sissy when it comes to observations.  During my Reading Recovery training year I had to go behind the glass at least six, or maybe nine times.  I'm not sure anymore, that whole grueling ordeal is somewhat of a blur in my mind now.  But, the point is, I've always come through somewhat unscathed. Maybe a little bruising to my ego, but basically I've developed a thick skin when it comes to evaluations.  I'm usually tougher on myself than my observers.  So, I decided, I needed to nail this observation.  But, you know, the whole thing isn't about me, it's all about what those little bodies in front of me do.  How they respond, how they buy in to my dog and pony show.

Well, today, BAZINGA!  I've been wanting to say that all day.  I don't think it fits here, but it feels good to say it.  Two nights ago, I worried, I didn't sleep.  Four days ago, I was sick.  I went to hospital to see a doctor and get a head X-ray.  I guess I've finally "had my head examined."  I digress, sorry.  I was sick.  Sinus infection.  The doctor says I have allergies and that I will probably be better when I go home.  I guess I'm allergic to the UAE.  Sigh.  But, I knew I was being observed on Tuesday, so I went to work on Sunday, over achiever that I am,  and promptly came home after a half day of work. I couldn't rest to get better because I had to go back to hospital to get a sick leave note.  Silly, I know.  So, Sunday's lesson was shot.  I only had one day to set up prior learning to present an outstanding lesson on Tuesday, and on Monday, I still was uncertain what I wanted to do. 

The dog and pony show part of me wanted to be outstanding and different, the theorist in me said, "don't depart from the known."  So, I just did what I've been doing, but this time I did it even better. Either all of the stars lined up or perhaps, just maybe perhaps, all of the scaffolding that I've been setting up has panned out for me to experience success.

Today, I feel like I have accomplished some of what I have set out to do since my arrival. My boys are starting to notice high frequency words in text. Today my little Mohamed R called out words in text during a shared read.  I heard bugles blowing somewhere I'm sure. I love that little guy.  And they listened.  My boys listened and followed directions and searched through text and cut and pasted and used their reading finger to point to words and read text to me.  I was in teacher heaven.  I didn't even notice the observers in the room. I was "in the zone," I guess.  It felt good, and it still does.  It felt authentic and I was so glad when they all finally decided to leave.  I was exhausted, I didn't have any more to give.  I knew when I went into school today if everything fell apart it would be out of my hands because I couldn't work harder than I have been working.  If it wasn't good enough then I was in the wrong place.

Two nights ago, like I said, I didn't sleep.  My mind would not stop.  I'm not a month long planner type of person.  I have ideas of where I want to be in a month, but the next day's lesson for me is not scripted, it often hinges on what learning occurred the day before. I am a strong believer in following the child. Sometimes lesson plans just have to be thrown out the window and something new evolves, like the day I read a big book to my boys about a dinosaur.  They loved that book and I loved sharing it with them.  But, the clock was ticking, we couldn't savor the moment and I sent them back to their seats to work on some math grouping.  It took me a few minutes to find what I was looking for and my colleague and co-teacher Susan, plopped a blank white sheet of paper in front of each boy while I searched for counters.  My mind was thinking counters, groups, math.... and then I turned around, and on those blank white sheets of paper emerged the most beautiful first grade dinosaurs I had ever seen.  Their little minds were still thinking about seeing dinosaur toes and tails and teeth and drippy dinosaur noses.  

I looked at Susan and our eyes locked and I think we both had teacher tears in our eyes.  "They're drawing dinosaurs," I cooed.  "They're supposed to be getting ready to do math, but they're drawing dinosaurs."  I love those dinosaurs.  Those dinosaurs are an authentic unsolicited unscripted response to reading.

I had so much fun with those dinosaurs that I decided to use the same book with another first grade class that I ended up subbing in later that day.  Because it was better planned, I was able to draw a dinosaur as a model for this other group of boys.  I was sad because their dinosaurs looked better than my boys' dinosaurs.  I showed them to my friend Y___.  Y____ in all her wisdom said, "No, they are not better.  If you drew the same model for your boys, they would do just as well if not better." So, the next day, we read about crabs.  I modeled drawing a crab for my boys.  I tell you what.  Those are some stinkin' good crabs.  Those are probably the best looking first grade crabs I've ever seen. My boys can draw, and they draw well.

So, my lesson went well. I feel good. It's one of the first times I've felt good in quite a while.  I feel good about my teaching and I feel good about myself.  After school, I stopped in to L___'s office to chat about my lesson.  I was expecting just a little bit of praise, maybe even just a, "Wow! You've come a long way, baby!"  But, no, she tilted her head and looked at me over the top of her glasses and with a slight smirk on her face, she said, "Your lesson went well, but ...."  I hate "but."  "....I don't know how yet, but we need to work on helping you so that you aren't working so hard.  You are still so much a small group teacher.  You were zooming around that room so much and so fast, you tired me out watching you," she said.  "You can't keep up that pace all the time."

Sigh.  She's right.  My heart is in the small groups and in the Reading Recovery one-on-one lessons.  I can pull groups of students all day long and be happy.  I've been asking my principal for a table to be able to pull small groups of my boys together for guided reading lessons.  Today was an opportune time to make the pitch again.  Shortly after my request, in came a beautiful table.  It's not really like any table I've ever had before.  When I envision my favorite table I recall my horseshoe table with a nicely cut out center making it easy to lean in to hear all the children read.  This table is simply beautiful.  It is covered on top with silky material gathered in rosette bunches and stapled into place. The sides are draped with complementary silky material with more bunching and pleating and rosettes.  I will need to make it childproof and cover it with a durable clear plastic tablecloth. And then, I will gather my boys near and set up the rules and set up the groups and, insha'allah.... magical shifts in learning will occur.